Classes by So’N’So


Jump to Category: Metaskills || Rope Bondage || Alternative Relationship Models


Classes – BDSM Metaskills

A Menu of Yes : Negotiating with Enthusiastic Consent

(All Levels, Lecture + Hands On)

A simple, intuitive, yes-based paradigm for negotiation that focuses on arenas of consent rather than the traditional boundary-based approach of hard-limits. Using a Menu of Yes is sexy, flexible, easy to remember and encourages intimacy while maintaining boundaries in a spirit of mutual enthusiastic consent.

Padawan Riggers & Jedi Bottoms

(Introductory, Hands On)  can be co-taught with Riah Raiju or solo

When tying experienced bottoms, novice riggers often struggle with insecurity while trying to please their partner. Loosely based on both Jedi and Sith philosophies, participants will be able to take these exercises directly back to the bedroom to have better, hotter bondage experiences by providing a framework that harnesses the experience differential to the top’s advantage. This class is aimed at teaching novice riggers, while providing a forum for bottoms of all levels to share knowledge, experience and validation with their partners.

Play In Five Acts

(All Levels, Lecture/Slideshow)

If lovemaking is a performance, then there is much we can learn from the theatre. Apply literary and stage techniques to make better scenes. Particularly sexy to all you Aristotle fetishists. Demonstrably applied to a rope bondage scene, these techniques can be universally applied to any fetish scene.

The Big Let Down

(Intermediate, Roundtable Discussion)

The end of a rope scene can leave a rope bottom feeling disconnected, rejected, or embarrassed when done improperly. Whether a body-stressing full inversion or a meditative Ebi tie, the bottom may feel as if s/he has somehow failed, that the scene had to end because of their limitations. Without due consideration, inattention at this critical and oft-overlooked stage can turn a great scene into a bad one. This roundtable discussion covers methods to reduce these emotional risks.

Bondage Photography Without A Camera

(All Levels, Lecture + Group Exercises)

The camera is the second least important element of good photography. This class begins with a brief lecture on photographic fundamentals, and then practices them as a group. Using environmentally obtained lighting tools, and without actual cameras to distract ourselves, the class will practice basic photographic skills, as well as advanced composition and color balance techniques.

Escape Games


Relaxed group participatory session. Attendees will form teams and compete against each other in simple shibari tasks. Basic knot skills will be taught, but greater knowledge will lead to greater entertainment.

Classes – Bondage Techniques

Newaza / Rope Foreplay 101

(Introductory, Hands On)

Tying your partner down doesn’t have to be a prelude to a good scene, it can be the scene itself. Course covers basic safety issues, types of rope, definition of different rope bondage styles, negotiation, and several basic shibari techniques (aka, “katas”). This intro class focuses on the “caressing style” of integrating sexuality and rope.

Semenawa / Rope Torture 102

(Introductory, Hands On)

An introduction to using rope as the torture, instead of as the prelude to sadomasochism. Course covers basic safety issues, types of rope, definition of different rope bondage styles, negotiation, and several basic shibari techniques (aka, “katas”). This intro class focuses on the sadomasochistic use of rope.

Rope/Problem Solving 110

(Beginner, Hands On)

This class eschews teaching by repetition and instead challenges students to solve common bedroom “problems” with rope, with review and assessment of the solutions proposed. Solutions will be assessed for comfort, safety, effectiveness and aesthetics.

Five Arm Ties

(Beginner, Hands On)

Five ways to get your partner’s arms out of the way, whether your intent be sinister or seductive.

The Bottleneck Chest & Hip Harness

(Beginner, Hands On)

A chest and hip harness design based on Erotic Macrame, the Bottleneck is visually pleasing, simple to learn, safe for static suspensions, and a simple under-arm style which contrasts well against the TK. Suitable for beginners.


(Advanced, Demo)

Hojojitsu and static 11-point suspensions using dental floss. Philosophical discourse on whether dental floss counts as rope bondage. Knowledge of basic suspension and hojojitsu are required to

Inventing the Quad Coin Harness

(Intermediate, Hands-on)

Begins by teaching a fusion bondage style, suspension-worthy hip tie.  Students then apply this information to develop a matching chest harness on their own, in Master Class fashion. This class explores the principles of harness composition/development through a specific application, and is NOT suitable for beginners.

Application Note: This class can be taught in one or two sessions, with the second session focusing more heavily on considerations for suspension.

Nawa-giri: Humiliation & Validation

(Intermediate, Lecture/Demo)

Teaches riggers how to connect or intentionally disconnect from your partner to generate a variety of emotional spaces. Bottoms will practice letting the rigger “lead” in a manner similar to dance. Emotional safety considerations will be discussed.

Karada: Gender, Shape and Fashion

(Intermediate, Hands-on)

Integrating fashion design principles, macrame, and decorative knots, we can build sexy rope body harnesses which look good at a party (or disappear under your evening-wear) and leave openings for all your important play needs later. Aimed at all genders and body types.

Classes – Alternative Relationship Skills

Love Thyself, How To

(All Levels, Lecture with Discussion)

The old cliche about learning to love yourself before you can learn to love others is easy to agree with, but hard to practice. Here’s how! Apply the Five Love Languages in a new way to learn to love yourself. Full of funny anecdotes, attendee contributions, and painfully gained wisdom, this class is full of practical wisdom about this oft-discussed nebulous concept.

The Solo Polyamorist

(All Levels, Lecture/Discussion)

Too obsessed with your job to make time for a Real Partner(tm)? Do you want to be focused on your own needs yet still have love in your life? Are you part of a couple and thinking about adding a partner who doesn’t have a primary partner? If so, this lecture on the joys and pitfalls of being your own primary partner may strike a chord.

Alternatives to Monogamy

(Beginner, Lecture)

A discussion about alternatives to traditional relationship structures, with emphasis on the relevance and pitfalls of such models. Class will begin with a brief lecture, followed by a discussion of how these beliefs apply to the lives of the students.

Kama Sutra Kink

(All Levels, Lecture)

Widely known in America as the Hindu Sex Manual, the Kama Sutra covers far more than weird sex positions. Learn pick up lines invented thousands of years ago, examine the ancient debate over the existence of the female orgasm, and discuss historic protocols of devotion and submission suitable for modern relationships.

I Can Haz Status?

(All Levels, Moderated Discussion)

The internet adds its own unique twist to the relationship rollercoaster. Public declarations of connection and parting, seeing your ex-lover every morning on your laptop, the need to actively End Friendships — all this and more will be covered in this roundtable discussion.

Yes, No, And I’m Sorry

(All Levels, Moderated Discussion)

A short series of conversations about the three hardest phrases in the English language. We’ll talk about how to do it right, how to do it wrong, rejection, fear, cynicism, baggage, bullcrap, love, screwing up, saving face, and finding dignity.

The Poly Dating Game


Each one of our Guest Bachelors will be secretly assigned a horrific dating habit commonly experienced in poly circles. Watch as contestants try to pick the least emotionally traumatizing First Date!

Long Distance Relationships: Balancing Love and Geography

(All Levels, Moderated Discussion) co-taught with Riah Raiju

“Absence sharpens love, presence strengthens it.” — Thomas Fuller. When you love someone that’s inconveniently distant (or conveniently spaced!), there are going to be some bumps on that very long road. Whether that connection is romantic, platonic, sexual, asexual, monogamous or polyamorous, the trials you face in maintaining connection, joy and vulnerability have common roots. This class will teach you methods of relationship negotiation, selecting and setting the mood you want, and dealing with disconnections, fear, and insecurity.

Conflict Resolution 101

(Beginner, Lecture, Not Poly-specific)

A basic class covering non-violent communication, the five love languages, how to say “I’m sorry,” and tricks to calm down and gain perspective.

Advanced Conflict Resolution

(All Levels, Lecture, Not Poly-specific)

Moving beyond basic communication theory, this lecture will include specific techniques on creating a safe, compassionate space to analyze relationship issues, patterns and measure progress. Also, a ton of tricks that don’t fit easily elsewhere. No reqs to attend.


(All Levels, Moderated Roundtable Discussion, Not Poly-specific)

A moderated discussion exploring the many, many shades of grey in a subject we all wish was black and white. Bring your opinions.

Practicum: Vulnerability & Emotional Self Awareness

(All Levels, group exercises) co-taught with Riah Raiju or solo

Use these various life hacks, conversational safewords, tricks, tips, and anecdotes to foster emotional vulnerability, both during conflict or as part of your ongoing relationship with yourself or others.  Drawing on their experiences in theater, writing, massage therapy, and personal growth, Riah Raiju and Master So’N’So will lead group and paired exercises. By practicing these techniques, students will gain greater insight into their own emotional responses, catalyze their ability to de-escalate conflicts, and hone their skills at repairing rifts and disconnection in relationships.

 Other Topics and Vanilla Classes

Please contact Master So’N’So if you are interested in hearing the list of vanilla seminars he teaches, or have a request for him to teach some specific subject matter not listed here.